And I wonder... will I ever come back here? Mama Jeanine thinks it will be in two months... and it might be - just to warn you guys! Honestly though I have no idea what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. And although that question sits in the back of my mind I'm trying not worry about it.
Awhile back I read this book called "A Million Miles" by Donald Miller - definitely recommend it! Mostly it talks about leading an adventurous life, but it also had some interesting words relating to the meaning of life... here are a few quotes I liked:"For instance, Marcos said, 'The human body essentially recreates itself every six months... You are not who you were in February.'"
How have you changed in the last six months? How have I changed? Just to warn you guys now... I'm not the same person! Oh I may look the same and act the same, but I have been genetically engineered into the 6 billion... okay just kidding... they do a lot of stuff at Bongolo Hospital, but genetic engineering is not one of them!
"I thought about Marcos's conclusions... that we were designed to live through something rather than to attain something, and the thing we were meant to live through was designed to change us. The point of a story is the character arc, the change." (70)
My latest resistance to change (haven't changed yet) has been selfishness... have I talked about living with people who are more familial and socialist? Let me give an example and then you can give me the rights words to describe the society/culture... I'm not sure those are good words. For example, a guy in Libreville is getting ready to get married. To get married here the guy has to give the family of the girl a dowry of sorts. He has a good job here, but is also working on the side to earn more money. If his family asks him for money he is pretty much obligated to give it to them, and there goes the dowry. In the villages if someone in the village needs money and you (a fellow villager) have it, you give it to them. (Which is one of the reasons there are so many unfinished houses - when people get money they put it into building.) Now don't get me wrong, I actually don't think this is a bad idea as far as the community is concerned. But the "I work hard for my money" side of me kicks in. The attitude of those in need plays a big role in this as well. All this just to say that my character is changing - I hope for the better.
My latest resistance to change (haven't changed yet) has been selfishness... have I talked about living with people who are more familial and socialist? Let me give an example and then you can give me the rights words to describe the society/culture... I'm not sure those are good words. For example, a guy in Libreville is getting ready to get married. To get married here the guy has to give the family of the girl a dowry of sorts. He has a good job here, but is also working on the side to earn more money. If his family asks him for money he is pretty much obligated to give it to them, and there goes the dowry. In the villages if someone in the village needs money and you (a fellow villager) have it, you give it to them. (Which is one of the reasons there are so many unfinished houses - when people get money they put it into building.) Now don't get me wrong, I actually don't think this is a bad idea as far as the community is concerned. But the "I work hard for my money" side of me kicks in. The attitude of those in need plays a big role in this as well. All this just to say that my character is changing - I hope for the better.
Ok so I think I have sufficiently wandered off of the subject. Now to return to our regularly scheduled program.
"Contrary to Freud's posit that man's greatest pursuit is of pleasure, Frankl (an Austrain psychologist who in 1942 was deported to a Nazi concentration camp) argued that life is a pursuit of meaning itself, and that search for meaning provides the basis for a person's motivation. Pain then, if one could have faith in something greater than himself, might be a path to experiencing a meaning beyond the false gratification of personal comfort." (196)
What is the meaning of your life? Have you ever thought about it? What motivates you?
Just wanted to tell you that I LOVE your blog posts and get so excited when I read them :-)
ReplyDeleteI really didn't like "Blue Like Jazz" but "A Million Miles" really influenced me too. I'm on that path to create a better story (and glad that our stories intersect).
ReplyDeleteI understand the mixed emotions. But whether 2 months or 2 years, we will be glad to see you in April.
My sociology professor always said, "you are who you are, because of where you have been, and when you were there". Gabon has now become part of who you are.
Love you!